Tekken Island Adventures
by A.Q. Hort
Summary: This is the sequel of Elegant Dinner? The takken fighters go on their abual trip, but unfortunately, things don't tourn out as they had hoped and expected. Rated T for language, sexual themes, and violence.
1. Chapter 1: Shoving Off

TEKKEN ISLAND ADVENTURES

**Description: This is the sequel to my last fic. The Tekken crew goes on yearly vacation expecting to see a luxurious island resort. Unfortunately things don't turn out they way they thought it would be. Please enjoy utter nonsense as they go through their adventure.**

**CHAPTER 1**

**SHOVING OFF**

**NINA, ANNA, & STEVE'S HOUSE**

NINA: I wonder which gun I should bring. (She is looking in her enormous weapon vault) Hmm…The semi-automatic goes with my eyes, but the bazooka brings out my complexion. Maybe I'll go with the machine gun since it goes with all of my outfits.

STEVE: (knocks on Nina's door)

NINA: (shouting from her vault) what do you want?

STEVE: I need to come in.

NINA: Hold on a sec. (She closes her vault and sets up the illusion machine to make it look like an oversized painting of a tank. Then she sets her semi-automatic, bazooka, and machine gun on her bed)

STEVE: What is taking mom so long?

NINA: Come in.

STEVE: Mom, I need to ask you- (he's suddenly taken aback by the guns) what's with the guns?

NINA: You should be used to it by now; they should be like your siblings by now jeez.

STEVE: But why do you need so many? You have more guns than all the armies in the world combined.

NINA: They keep me young.

STEVE: What?

NINA: These guns make me feel like I did 20 years ago?

ANNA: (was eavesdropping but now barges in) Sleep?

NINA: Who told you to come in?

ANNA: No one, but it's my house too.

NINA: Ignore your worthless aunt.

ANNA: Hey!

STEVE: But weren't you in cryo-sleep 20 years ago.

NINA: Yes I was.

STEVE: So how does it make you feel like you did 20 years ago?

NINA: Okay, it makes me feel like I think I would have been 20 years ago.

STEVE: Oh.

NINA: Now what was the reason that you came in here.

STEVE: Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you is it normal for an aunt to spy on her nephew in the shower.

NINA: No that isn't. Who would do such a nasty thing?

ANNA: (starts sneaking out of the room)

STEVE: Anna would.

NINA: Good one.

STEVE: No really, she was spying on me in the shower. She even tried to hide a camera in the toilet to watch me take a whiz.

NINA: Anna, you nasty whore.

ANNA: He's so irresistible.

NINA: That's your nephew.

ANNA: Yeah, but I want his big, fat, juicy,

NINA: Die!

ANNA: (runs like a scared mouse)

**THE MISHIMA HOUSE**

JUN: (Knocks on the bathroom door) Jin, have you finished packing?

JIN: No.

JUN: You know that we leave early tomorrow right?

JIN: Yes.

JUN: You need to finish packing now.

JIN: Sure.

JUN: How much longer are you going to be in there? I need the bathroom.

JIN: Few more minutes.

JUN: Why are you being so short with me?

JIN: No reason.

KAZUYA: (Walks past) leave the boy alone. You've been babying him too much.

JUN: He needs guidance.

KAZUYA: When I was his age, I climbed my way up a cliff and out of a raging river. The only guidance I had was the North Star and animal shit.

JUN: Well some people want to have normal lives.

KAZUYA: So you're saying that I'm abnormal.

JUN: Why do you have to take so hardly?

KAZUYA: Now you're saying that I'm overreacting.

JUN: What is wrong with you?

KAZUYA: There you go again. If I'm so messed up why don't you find someone else? (Runs off crying like a girl)

JUN: God, he must be on his _M_eriod (man period).

(5 minutes pass)

JUN: Come on Jin.

JIN: (now frustrated) Why don't you use one of the 15 other bathrooms?

JUN: Because the stuff I need is in there. And watch you're tone.

KAZUYA: (Materializes behind Jun) can't you tell that he's in there rubbing one out.

JIN: (through the door) I hate you dad.

KAZUYA: Don't be mad. All the times I used to spend at home, under trees, in public restrooms, in the locker room, in your mom's room when she didn't know-

JIN and JUN: We get it.

KAZUYA: Well I used to spend a lot of time yanking cords, if you know what I mean.

JIN: Can I turn you in for telling me that. I'm sure there's a law against saying that type of stuff to kids.

KAZUYA: You're 22 years old for crying out loud.

JIN: It's still wrong.

KAZUYA: It's just sex, jeez. You act like you don't sit in your room all day watching porn.

JIN: I don't. I only watch for an hour, two hours max.

JUN: This is disturbing. Just let me know when you're finished. I think I need a drink.

KAZUYA: I'll go with you.

JIN: Finally some peace and quiet.

**LATER**

JIN: (in his room packing) I hope this trip is a good as it seems to be.

XIAOYU: (Sitting in the window) me too.

JIN: (almost has a heart attack) Where the hell did you come from?

XIAOYU: I've been sitting here for five hours now.

JIN: I know you love me, and I love you too, but you can't stalk me. That's not natural.

XIAOYU: Yes it is. Haven't you seen the special on the discovery channel about ADHD Asian school girls with unreasonable animals as pets?

JIN: No.

XIAOYU: Well you're in luck, because I happen to have a copy.

JIN: Where? You don't have any pockets and your purse is no where in sight.

XIAOYU: Hold on a moment, my dear Jinny Winny. (She pulls a video tape from her glowing bracelet)

JIN: How much stuff can you hide in those wristbands?

XIAOYU: Up to 850 cubic feet of stuff.

JIN: Amazing.

XIAOYU: Where's you're VCR.

JIN: Excuse me?

XIAOYU: You're VCR Mr. Silly pants, where is it?

JIN: It's 2010, no one uses VCRs anymore.

XIAOYU: Yes they do. We have one at our house.

JIN: Why?

XIAOYU: To watch movies duh.

JIN: Did you're grandpa buy it?

XIAOYU: Yeah, about 30 years ago. It was the first one ever made.

JIN: Exciting. (Says sarcastically)

XIAOYU: Luckily I carry a VCR on me.

JIN: What did I get myself into?

GANRYU: (pops out of the ceiling comically accompanied by 40s comedy music) you got your self into quite a tizzy! (Disappears)

JIN: What a weirdo.

XIAOYU: Shh…the movies about to begin.

{JUN AND KAZUYA'S ROOM}

KAZUYA: Do these pants make me look fat.

JUN: For the millionth time, no.

KAZUYA: Be honest honey.

JUN: Kazuya, you're too ripped and muscular to look fat. We can see you're abs, pecs, and creamy hamstrings through every piece of clothing you wear.

KAZUYA: You always no how to make me feel better.

JUN: Well they don't call me angelic, mother Theresa, or the virgin Marry for nothing.

KAZUYA: You're not a virgin.

JUN: Don't you think I know that. How else would we have had our wonderful Jin?

KAZUYA: Speaking of Jin, when is he going to get his own place?

JUN: When he is old enough.

KAZUYA: He should be in college.

JUN: He needs to be here with his mommy and daddy.

KAZUYA: He needs to find his own place.

JUN: He's only 22, and could get into lots of trouble.

KAZUYA: Jun, I hate to say this, but you've turned our son into a bitch.

JUN: Kazuya!

KAZUYA: He needs to experience life. Of course he's going to make mistakes and get into trouble, hell he may possibly get mysteriously thrown off of a mountain, but that's what will help him to make his own way.

JUN: Sure, but I can't let go.

KAZUYA: God, why can't you be like Baek? He made Hwoarang get his own place as soon as he "graduated" high school.

JUN: And look at him. He's a weed smoking, promiscuous thug.

KAZUYA: You said yourself that everything that's natural is good. Is weed not natural?

JUN: Touché. But what can you say about the promiscuity.

KAZUYA: It's better than jacking off in the bathroom all night.

JUN: He won't get AIDS.

KAZUYA: And he won't get you grandkids either. Plus he's sneaking and fucking Xiaoyu anyway.

JUN: No he isn't.

KAZUYA: I caught him last week remember.

JUN: Oh yeah.

KAZUYA: As I said, he needs to get his own place or he can room with Hwoarang.

JUN: Will you stop dick riding Hwoarang.

KAZUYA: First of all, that's your niece who dies that. Second, I'm not dick riding, he just reminds me a little of myself. Third, I'm surprised you just said that.

JUN: It's my time of the month.

KAZUYA: Oh, you too.

**AT THE AIRPORT**

NINA: Anna why did you have to bring so many bags.

ANNA: I need options.

NINA: How can you're little skanky outfits possibly fill 6 bags off stuff.

ANNA: You think that everything that isn't old ladyish is skanky.

NINA: No, I just don't think you should wear lingerie as an outfit.

ANNA: Well it gets hot on the island.

NINA: So what did you bring the booty shorts and low cut crop tops for?

ANNA: As I said, options.

NINA: I should have killed you when I had the chance, but no I had to remember that deep down I still loved you.

ANNA: That was sweet.

NINA: (punches Anna in the stomach)

MICHELLE: Well it's nice to see you guys up and ready so bright and early.

NINA: Hey Michelle, how are you.

MICHELLE: I'm good and you.

ANNA: In pain.

NINA: Just fine. Where's Julia?

MICHELLE; She's getting her bag from out side.

NINA: See Anna, BAG, not Bags.

MICHELLE: Well we shared on bag, so she only needed to bring one.

ANNA: That's because she wars the same thing all the time.

MICHELLE: No she doesn't, she wears other stuff. Plus, you can't talk; you've been wearing that same dress for twenty years.

ANNA: If you weren't so old and didn't retire, you would see that I updated the dress.

MICHELLE: I saw the dress. It's essentially the same dress, but now it shows your tits.

JULIA: Hey mom- oh my god (looks at Anna's mountain of bags)

MICHELLE: What?

JULIA: (Points in the direction of Anna's bags)

MICHELLE: 6 bags Anna, really. And there all ridiculously huge,

ANNA: I need options for the last freaking time.

JULIA: How do all of your slutty outfits need 6 extra large bags?

NINA: That's what I said.

ANNA: That's it! (Attacks Julia)

MICHELLE: Oh hell no! (Attacks ANNA)

NINA: Well maybe I can conveniently lose one of Anna's bags.

ANNA: I heard you bitch. (Pulls Nina in)

BYSTANDERS: (cat fight)

STEVE: (coming from bathroom) what's all the- (sees the fight) Here they go again, and now they've rubbed off on other people.

SECURITY OFFICER: break it up now.

NINA: (Breaks the security guard's arm.)

GANRYU: My beloved Michelle is being attacked, I'll save her. (Pulls a cape (which is actually a bed sheet) out of his suitcase)

NINA: Did it just get dark in here?

MICHELLE: I think so.

JULIA: Oh my god! Run!

(Julia, Nina, and Michelle run away)

ANNA: Wh- (Ganryu falls on her)

GANRYU: I did it, I've saved my love.

ANNA: I can't move.

GANRYU: I think I'll sit here for a while.

ANNA: I hate my life.

GANRYU: I'm hearing voices. I thought I got rid of those.

ANNA: It smells like sour ass.

GANRYU: It says it wants some sassafras.

ANNA: This must be Ganryu.

GANRYU: And it must be with Ganryu. Hey that's me.

ANNA: Ganryu get your fat ass off of me now!

GANRYU: It wants me to slap its ass.

ANNA: I'll give you to the count of three. If you don't get up, I'll stick this stiletto up your ass.

GANRYU: It says get up so you can still stick it up my ass.

(Ganryu gets up)

ANNA: Finally, some relief.

GANRYU: Where are you, I want to stick it up your ass.

BYSTANDERS: (looks at Ganryu like he's weird)

GANRYU: I hate when this happens.

ANNA: (sees Lee) Hey baby.

LEE: (Frowns) Hi.

ANNA: What's the matter?

LEE: You smell like sour ass.

ANNA: Oh, that. That was because Ganryu was on top of me.

LEE: You did Ganryu. That's nastier than Jinpachi's stomach mouth.

ANNA: No I didn't do that nasty bastard.

LEE; Then why was he on top of you?

ANNA: Nina, Michelle, Julia, and I were fighting, then out of nowhere Ganryu comes falling on top of me.

LEE: Are the other girls okay.

ANNA: Yeah, those bitches left me for dead.

"Aw that's sad." Lee said emphathetically.

"Do you know if there's a place where I can shower."

"Why." Lee Asked.

"Well I can't just walk around smelling like sour ass." Anna replied mater-of-factly.

"I think there is a shower all the way on the other side of the airport."

"Great, thanks." Anna said happily, giving Lee a hug.

Lee frowned again, and tried not to say anything. Unfortunately Anna picked up on his emotion, and huffed. _Well its not my fault that she smells like sour ass._ Lee thought to himself.

Yoshimitsu and Kunimitsu arrived right after Anna left for the showers.

"Do you think we can get through security with all of this stuff." Yoshimitsu asked his mate.

"Sure, didn't you bring the Manji disappearing powder."

"I forgot." Yoshimitsu dropped his head in shame.

"Some times I wonder why I even married you." Kunimitsu said. "You're more forgetful than Wang, and he's twice your age."

"Thanks for making me feel better."

"Stop acting like a bitch." Kunimitsu snapped.

"At least I'm not a bitch."

Eddy ooed in the back ground.

"Dammit Eddy, why are you in our business?" Kunimitsu yelled.

"Its funny seeing two freaks arguing like Ike and Tina." Eddy sneered.

"I'll kill you Rasta boy." Kunimitsu shouted.

"For the last time I'm Brazilian."

"I don't care." Kunimitsu replied.

"This isn't going to go well." Yoshimitsu said to himself.

"That's okay." Paul said standing behind him. "That's probably how it would have been if I married Nina."

"No, Nina would have killed you." Yoshimitsu replied.

"You're probably right." Paul agreed. "Hey where're the bathrooms? I gotta take a mad shit."

Yoshimitsu, slightly disturbed replied, "I don't know, check the directory."

"The what?" Paul asked, clearly puzzled.

"The directory, you know the thing that tells you where everything is?" Yoshimitsu asked concerned.

"A map? Damn, why didn't you say that? I hate when people always have to use big freaking words." Paul continued to rant while walking to the receptionist's desk.

Yoshimitsu looked after him as if he was a child.

"Hey babe." Paul said loudly.

The receptionist ignored him.

"Oh you're one of those classy bitches." Paul thought out loud. "Excuse me miss?"

"Yes." The receptionist answered.

Paul paused and took in her beauty. She was nicely tanned with long brown hair tied in a loose ponytail. She wore red, plastic framed glasses and had sizeable breasts.

"Will you please stop undressing me with your eyes?" The receptionist asked frustrated.

"Oh yeah." Paul said, still entranced. "Where's the shitter?"

"The restroom is down that hall to the right." She said pointing to the left hall.

"Can you write that down?" Paul asked.

"What."

"I need you to write it down."

"Come on." The receptionist said frustrated. "Are you really that much of a dumbass?"

"Please."

Right when she was about to write the directions down, flight for the Tekken fighters was called.

"Aw shit, I gotta go." Paul said as ran to the gate.

Everyone else waited at the gate for everyone to arrive.

Kunimitsu sat on a chair playing with her dagger. Nina and Anna continued to argue.

"I need some Midol." Kazuya said.

"Me too, Asuka said."

Everyone looked at Kazuya with a disturbed look.

"Aw shut up, you guys act like you don't have your times of the month." Kazuya said defensively.

"Need a tamp?" Christie asked patronizingly.

"Where's your pimp, you stupid ho?"

"Burn!" Hwoarang shouted.

"I'm ready to go." Xiaoyu whined.

"We'll be leaving in a minute." Wang assured his granddaughter.

"What idiot are we waiting for now." Nina asked, holding her pistol tightly.

"We're waiting for Paul." Jun replied, obviously eyeing the conspicuous gun.

"How did you get through with that gun?" Bruce asked.

"I hid it in one of my special spots." Nina replied.

"I want to put something in your special spot." Hwoarang called out.

Nina threw a dagger at him, making sure that it whizzed by his head at a dangerously close range.

"Damn. I was just joking."

Asuka hit Hwoarang with a bamboo rod.

"Come on Asuka. I was just joking."

"What have I told you about joking like that?"

"Asuka, baby, you have to lighten up. I don't say anything when you ogle other men, like Steve or Eddy."

"That's a different story."

"Handle your man Asuka." Jin taunted.

Hwoarang pounced on Jin.

"This is hot." Lee said, rubbing his chest as he watched.

"Stop lusting after my son, you old, tight pants wearing, butt pirate." Jun yelled.

"Who's says I'm lusting after your delicious looking son?"

Jun windmill kicked Lee.

"Well Jun, I guess we've been wearing off on you." Lei quipped.

"I don't play when it comes to my baby."

"I'm getting pissed." Kazuya was seething at this point. "How could that bastard possibly take so long walking less than ten feet."

10 MINUTES PASSED

Ganryu played with his arm fat much to the disgust of the others.

15 MORE MINUTES PASSED

Jin watched porn on his iPhone.

25 MORE MINUTES PASSED

They had missed their flight.

45 MORE MINUTES PASSED

Anna and lee went to the bathroom to have sex.

1 MORE HOUR PASSED

"As soon as I see Paul, I'm going to throttle him."

Finally Paul waltzed into the gate as if no one was waiting for over two and a half hours. Kazuya immediately grabbed Paul's neck.

"Why the hell did it take you so long."

"cough…"

"Answer me!" Kazuya yelled.

"Gurgle…"

"Maybe you should let him go Einstein." Heihachi said frustrated.

"I got lost." Paul said simply.

"You got lost." Kazuya said. "You must be a complete dumb ass if you can get lost going that short of a distance. What are you, 2?"

"Two what?" Paul asked idiotically.

Kazuya punched him in the face. Pual retaliated by punching Kazuya in the gut.

"We can hop on this next plane, it's already here." Jun called out.

"Great, everyone hurry your sorry asses up." Nina yelled as everyone scrambled to get through the gate.

Within ten minutes, everyone boarded the plane.

**This chapter is over. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. The next chapter will take place on the airplane and on a really undersized ferry that they take to the island. **

**NOTE: I changed formats in the middle of the story because I remembered that stories aren't supposed to be in script format for whatever stupid reason. I'm not going to change the first half of the chapter, but from the next chapter on, everything will fully be in story format.**


	2. Chapter 2: Turbulence and Sea Sickness

**Chapter 2**

**Turbulence and Sea Sickness**

It was a bit crowded in the plane and hot. The fighters were forced to sit in economy class which didn't sit to well with Heihachi or Lili.

"This really is rather uncomfortable" Lili complained. "If my daddy were here he would have gotten me into first class, or better yet a private jet."

"God blondie, you are so freaking annoying." Asuka replied.

"Asuka, I have no time to deal with trash such as yourself."

"You're dead bitch." Asuka yelled.

"Hey shut up back there." A fat man from a few rows ahead yelled back.

"Why don't you come back here and make me."

"Don't make such a scene Asuka." Jun said.

"Well if this fat ass wants to make me shut up then he can come back here and make me."

The fat man arose, wearing a greasy tank top and a pair of beat up blue jeans. He looked like your stereotypical redneck. He walked slowly and heavily like an elephant.

"Look at what you have done." Jun said exasperated.

The fat man stopped in front of Asuka, looking her up and down. After a while he grunted then proceeded to grab her arm. Within milliseconds of contact, Asuka twisted his arm and slammed him to the ground, awaking some other passengers.

"Now what do you have to say, fat ass."

The fat man grunted.

"Can someone pick this up, it's sickening me." Lili asked snobbishly. "And take the thing that set it on the floor with you."

"Prepare to die!" Asuka yelled.

Asuka and Lili began to fight.

"This is horrible, we haven't been on the plane for ten minutes and a fight has already started." Jun complained.

"Look at the Brightside." Michelle assured. "At least it isn't Nina and Anna."

Jun and Michelle shared a glance then chuckled.

"That's true." Jun agreed. "If it was them, the whole plane would have blown up."

"Speaking of those two, where are they?" Michelle asked.

"I'm not sure, ask Kunimitsu."

Kunimitsu, who was a few seats away, heard the conversation.

"I think Nina is in the front of the plane next to Bryan."

"What about Anna?" Jun asked.

"In between Paul and Wang." Kunimitsu answered.

"I bet those two are happy." Michelle snickered.

"Sure, those two haven't been with a woman in years; if they have they paid for it." Kunimitsu laughed obnoxiously.

A little kid kicked the back of her seat in response.

"Hey you little bastard, stop kicking my chair." She yelled.

"Yeah right freak. Look at that mask; you look my Halloween costume from last year." The boy retorted, kicking her chair once again.

"If you don't stop kicking my fucking chair, I'll shank your little ass." Kunimitsu screamed turning around with her dagger in ready position.

"I'm telling my mom." The boy cried.

"Tell her and I'll shank that bitch too."

Everyone in the plane looked at Kunimitsu in shock and disgust.

"Kunimitsu, sit your crazy ass down and shut up." Eddy yelled from the front.

"Eddy I'm tired of your ass. I'll beat the Rasta out of you."

"I'm Brazilian, not Jamaican." Eddy replied frustrated.

"She's just jealous because she isn't like you." Christie comforted.

"Yeah right, like I would want to be like that jack ass."

A flight attendant heard the argument and walked in between the two arguing parties. "I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down."

"Or what?" Kunimitsu asked sarcastically. "You can't throw me out of the plane."

"But I can have you arrested and thrown in the back of the plane."

"Try me."

"Cool it Kuni, we don't need to make this any worse than it already is." Bruce suggested.

"You're lucky he's my best friend, because if he wasn't I would have kicked your ass."

"Whatever." The flight attendant said and walked away.

The flight continued, problem free for about two hours until Xiaoyu called the flight attendant over.

"Excuse me airplane lady, I need something." Xiaoyu announced to the attendant.

The attendant looked at her funny for a little bit then replied, "What do you need miss."

"I want some crayons and a coloring book and some animal crackers."

"Excuse me."

"Oh yeah, pretty please." Xiaoyu replied with a childish grin.

"Well, we don't have crayons or coloring books to give you, but we do have graham crackers.' The flight attendant explained.

"Okay, I want some blocks, a Barbie doll, and a juice box pretty please."

The flight attendant once again looked perplexed.

"How old are you."

"19."

"Well, um."

"What's wrong?" Xiaoyu asked.

"All I can give you are graham crackers and a juice box."

"Do you have any toys?"

"No ma'am."

"Man this sucks." Tears started to form in Xiaoyu's eyes. "I really wanted those toys." Soon she started to throw a tantrum.

Wang heard the commotion and walked to Xiaoyu. "Stop all of this foolishness before I spank you."

"But grandpa, I really want those toys."

"Stop it now." Wang said firmly. "If you are good, I'll buy you a toy from the airport.

"You promise?" Xiaoyu asked sniffling.

"Of course."

"Okay grandpa." Xiaoyu said then hugged Wang.

The flight continued for another six hours, ending on a small island just below Australia. The jet lagged fighters departed the plane, retrieved their luggage then sat outside in a lounge area.

"Now what?" Steve thought out loud.

"We have to catch a ferry from here in twenty minutes." Jun answered, fanning herself.

They sat in the lounge in silence for a little while, some eating and others drinking. Anna sipped on a strawberry martini provocatively, trying to get the attention of some of the workers. Her low cut, short sun dress revealed a fair amount of skin.

"Woo hoo." Anna called. "Can you come here? I need you."

Ganryu turned his head. "Me?" He asked clueless and excited.

"Please." Anna sighed.

"If you insist." Ganryu replied.

"I didn't mean literally."

"Oh it's okay if you don't clean regularly, neither do I." Ganryu replied walked towards her briskly.

"Eww!" Anna let out an exaggerated scream. "I didn't say that and I don't want you. Go back, go back!"

Ganryu continued to approach her, slightly picking up his steps. Ann looked frantically from left to right, trying to find a big strong airport worker to help her. Unfortunately they all went on break about five minutes before and left behind scrawny, pickle faced workers. Without any options, Anna had to think fast.

"Free food!" Anna shouted as loud as she could.

Ganryu ran off, searching for the alleged free food before Anna could finish.

"That was close." Nina snickered from behind a palm tree.

"Shut up."

Nina looked at Anna for a while longer then went back to her seat.

"The ferry will be here in five minutes, let's start heading towards the dock." Jun announced.

With that, everyone proceeded to the docks. People gawked at the large, fairly varied group of fighters as they passed. A small kid stared at King and Armor King as they walked by.

"Wow, they're cool." A kid said in awe.

Both of the Kings somehow winked back at the kid then kept moving. After an excruciating five minutes of walking, they reached the dock. It was very unimpressive to say the least. Foam cups and empty food packaging floated across the wooden dock. A line of old and tired ferries bobbed in the crystal blue waters. A thick woman in a faded captain's suit greeted them.

"Are you the Tekken fighters?" She asked enthusiastically.

"No, we're a group of kids going on a field trip." Kazuya said sarcastically.

"Oh, isn't he a funny one." She replied.

"Sure, if you can call it that." Jin said, like any young son would say about his parent.

"Can we stop wasting time and get on the ferry?" Nina asked impatiently.

"Oh I'm sorry, let's go." The captain waved them in the direction of a small, somewhat dilapidated ferry.

"What the fuck is this?" Hwoarang yelled in disgust.

"This is the ferry." The captain replied flatly.

"There is no way in hell we can all fit in there."

"We'll have to make it work." The captain replied.

The ferry was grossly too small; so small that a semi large family of 12 wouldn't fit comfortably in the ferry. They boarded the small ferry cautiously and carefully, inching their way into spots. Everyone had to sit in stacks of five; one person on one's lap then the next on their lap and so on. They had to tie their luggage (even Anna's six extra-large bags) to the top of the ferry.

"Obviously we didn't have much of a budget to work with this year." Michelle said as she tried to make herself comfortable.

"I'm so sorry." Jun replied. "The company assured me that we have a large enough ferry to fit us all. That's why I reserved one."

"That's why you should have let me make the plans." Heihachi said resentfully.

"If you would have made the plans, we would have been riding in one floatation device like we did two years ago." Julia replied.

"I told you that was only because we needed to save money."

"Then why did you get a six story yacht?" Bruce asked.

"Well you couldn't possibly expect me to ride in a floaty, can you?" Heihachi replied defensively.

Everyone let out a long groan.

"What?" Heihachi asked innocently.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"So…" Yoshimitsu started. "Where is Ganryu?"

"We tied him to the back of the ferry."

"Oh. That's unfortunate." Yoshimitsu replied.

They continued on their uncomfortable ride, taking in all of the beautiful scenery. Well at least the people who were on the top enjoyed the views. Some of the fighters on the bottom began to get testy however.

"What is this in my Ass?" Lee yelled.

"The question is what isn't in your ass." Kazuya replied sarcastically.

Everyone laughed.

"Really, what the hell is this?" Lee asked again. "Is that your sword Yoshimitsu or is it Kunimitsu's dagger?"

"No." Yoshi and Kuni replied in unison.

"If it isn't them, who's under me?"

"Hwoarang is." Jin answered.

"Well what is it Hwoarang?"

"Um, something very important to me."

"It feels like it's getting bigger and more rigid too."

"It's my um…my um…umbrella, yeah"

"No it isn't. I know what an umbrella feels like. Boy was that a fun time. I wonder what happened to him."

Everyone attempts to shift uncomfortably.

"Ok, it's my piece." Hwoarang answered dramatically.

"Oh." Lee trailed. "I didn't know you swung that way."

Everyone in the ferry gasped in shock.

"Well I don't fully swing that way." Hwoarang explained. "Every now and again I like to give the pie a rest and go for some sausages."

Asuka somehow acquired a building spire and somehow made her way to Hwoarang to beat him senselessly.

"You're cheating on me with men." Asuka fumed. "Well I'll be damned."

"You cheated on me with Lili." Hwoarang replied.

"That was different."

"You raped the poor girl."

Once again everyone in the ferry gasped.

"Fuck you." Asuka screamed. She hits him again with the spire. "That's for saying 'poor Lili'."

"I'm sorry. Well not really. But yeah, you have to understand that I like sex, and sex with many people."Hwoarang explained.

"Well we will have to work on that." Asuka returned to her spot.

"And to think you want our son to be like him." Jun looked at Kazuya with exasperation.

"If you subtract out the faggish shit, then he's golden." Kazuya replied with a smile.

"Sometimes I wonder why I won't give up on you." Jun thought out loud.

"Well mom and I told you to leave him alone." Unknown replied.

"Let's not go through this again Unknown."

"Yeah unknown, shut your freaking face." Kazuya yelled.

Unknown put up her hand as if she were about to say "talk to the hand."

"Anyway…why didn't you listen to us, even big brother told you to reconsider your involvement with this clown."  
"I will say this one more time, because I love him very much." Jun replied with a heavy sigh.

"Well more power to you. But if it was me, I would have given him up."

Kunimitsu oohed in the back ground.

"Shut up Kunimitsu!"

"Do you even have a man or woman, or any combination of the two?" Kunimitsu asked bluntly.

"Of course; he's at home right now."

"Who is your man?" Jun asked. "I've never met him."

"Yeah, because you were missing for like ten years." Unknown replied matter-of-factly.

"Where did you meet the sorry loser?" Kunimitsu asked.

"I met him in the forest while I was looking for Jun."

"In the forest?" Christie suddenly cut in. "What weirdo would just hang in the forest? No offense Jun."

"Have any of us seen him." Paul asked.

"Yeah, during Tekken Tag." Unknown replied. "He was literally right beside me."

Everyone thought for a minute.

"I got it!" Anna exclaimed.

"Who is it bird brain?" Nina asked in her usual monotonous tone.

Anna flipped Nina off; Nina threw a random baseball at her.

"If my thoughts are correct, it was that hideous werewolf thingy."

Everyone attempted to look at Unknown for an answer.

"Well." Unknown said sheepishly.

"Oh no." Jun dropped her head in distress.

"It is."

"Oh that's nasty." Eddy replied.

"I agree with Rasta boy." Kunimitsu replied. If you could see through her mask she probably would have had a disgusted look.

"Isn't that considered bestiality?" Marshall Law asked, half way laughing.

"Well maybe, I don't know." Unknown answered. "I just love him okay."

"Is he good in bed?" Anna asked.

"Is that all you think about." Everyone asked in unison.

"That and fashion and some other stuff I guess."

"Well then…" Jun tried to change the subject.

"Can he talk?" Christie asked.

"Hey look there." Jun cut in.

Everyone but Nina and Heihachi attempted to look. Of course since everyone was packed like sardines, it took great effort.

"Het what gives?" Paul asked outraged. "All I see is water."

"And a big ass storm." Bruce added.

"Oh don't worry about that big ass storm." The captain assured. "This ferry can stand up to any big ass storm. Including category 5 hurricanes and storms like the ones in _The Day After Tomorrow_."

"I feel secure." Nina said sarcastically.

"How much longer do we have?" Lei asked impatiently.

"Only 4 more hours." The captain replied cheerfully.

"What?" Heihachi shouted. "You said this would only be a short ferry ride."

"Oh yeah, I got lost halfway through. I think I am back on the right track now."

"Jun, this is some bull shit." Heihachi yelled. "That's why I should have organized everything.

"Need we discuss 1999 trip." Jun asked malignantly.

"Fine. I'll shut up for now." Heihachi huffed.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Everyone on the ferry said in unison.

The ferry ride went on for two more hours before the "big ass storm" struck. It was a freakishly huge hurricane with many waterspouts erupting from it. The wind easily exceeded 400 miles per hour.

"Oh my god!" Lili Screamed.

"We're going to die." Anna yelled.

"What are we going to do captain?" Jun asked calmly.

"I don't know." The captain replied in the same eerily cheery tone.

"I'm about to slit her throat." Kunimitsu yelled wildly.

"No!" Jun snapped.

"We're all going to die anyway." Kunimitsu tried to justify. "It really doesn't matter."

"I do not believe in taking-"

A hard gust of wind overturned the ferry. The fighters and their "special" captain bobbed in the water like apples.

"Help, I can't swim." Leo screamed desperately.

"Neither can I." Jack 2 said.

"Shouldn't you be shorting out?" Lee inquired.

"Probably." Jack 2 replied.

"Someone help us." Christie called out.

"We're in the middle of the ocean toots." Paul snapped. "Who the hell can help us?"

"I know who can help us." Ling Xiaoyu cheered.

"Do I really want to know?" Nina asked.

"Sailor Moon can help us."

Nina swam over to Xiaoyu and slapped her.

Rubbing her face, Xiaoyu replied, "Or plan B."

"Which is…?" Nina replied giving Xiaoyu a death glare.

Suddenly Xiaoyu pulled a teleportation device out of her bracelet.

"Wow!" Everyone said in awe.

"That never ceases to amaze me." Jin said with a tear in his eye.

"Now can some smarty pants work this thing?" Xiaoyu asked.

"Work this thing what?" Wang asked.

"Work this thing please." Xiaoyu said flatly.

Lee swam over to the controls.

"Everyone gather around the machine." Lee ordered.

"Why should I listen to you?" Heihachi and Kazuya asked in unison.

"Fine then." Lee replied sassily. "I can leave your sorry asses in here and let you drown."

"We're Mishima men. We can handle anything." Heihachi replied proudly.

"Oh shut up and come over here." Jun ordered.

"Sure why not." Kazuya said to himself. He and Heihachi swam over to the teleportation device.

"We will teleport in three, two, one…" Lee counted down.

With a digital fading affect they teleported to the island.

**Here is the end of chapter 2. Sorry for taking so long. I have lots of homework and stuff to do with band, so i can only write when time permits. I'll try update in a timelier manner.**

***Now that the fighters have teleported to the island, will things go better or will they go down in flames? Stay tuned.***


	3. Chapter 3:And Where Are We Exactly?

**CHAPTER 3**

**And Where Are We Exactly?**

After about a half a second, the fighters appeared on a lush tropical island. Tall palm trees stood out for as far as their eyes could see, which for some wasn't that far (cough…Wang…cough). The island's own symphony of exotic bird calls and waves washing upon the shore soothed their ears.

"This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Kunimitsu cried in awe.

"Big deal." Christie said. "I see this every day at home."

"Well damn. You didn't have to kill it for us all." Anna said in frustration.

"It's not my fault that you have been living under men for all of your life." Christie snapped.

"You're one to talk. Remember you slept with Marduk back in the fourth tournament when you thought Eddy was missing." Anna said with a sinister sneer.

Christie froze in shock. Eddy looked at her then at Marduk, then back to her.

"What the hell?" Eddy asked with a hurt look on his face.

"Well that was in the past. Now let's worry about the future." Christie smiled.

"I just thought about something." Nina said quizzically. "Anna, how did you know about that if you weren't in the tournament that year?"

"I have my sources Nina, I have my sources." Anna replied with an even more sinister look.

"I hate to break up the happy mood, but where is the resort?" Zafina cut in.

Taking their cue, the fighters all went silent and gazed around the horizon. There was no building in sight; in fact there were no signs of human life period.

"I thought you said this was a resort Kazuya." Jun said impatiently.

"Well it's supposed to be." Kazuya replied with an uncharacteristic scared look on his face.

"This isn't the time to be playing games dear." Jun said, trying to keep her composure.

"Yeah you little bastard." Heihachi yelled.

"You're not helping." Jun replied.

Everyone stared at Kazuya for an answer.

"I remember the island. It was shaped like a musket." Kazuya recalled.

Every looked in shock.

"What's a musket?" Xiaoyu asked. "Do you put that on your burger?"

A few people laughed.

"No, that's an old weapon from America. They used it during the Revolutionary War." Miharu explained.

"Oh. I think grandpa has one."

"I'm sure he does." Nina said sarcastically.

"Any way." Jun continued. "Yoshimitsu, can you fly up and see what shape this island is."

"Sure." Yoshimitsu replied with a Xiaoyu styled salute.

"I taught him that." Xiaoyu said with pride.

Yoshimitsu flew up into the air with his sword-o-copter thing. He scrutinized the island for a minute then came back down.

"I'm glad I let that guy talk me into this Honda mechanical arm. It runs like a beut." Yoshimitsu thought out loud.

"Who cares about that?" Jun said, now tense. "What shape is the island?"

"Oh that. Well it's kind of hard to describe."

"Well." Jun egged on.

"It's sort of shaped like a half-eaten cookie, but it also has a triangle shaped hole in the middle."

"Well that wasn't hard at all." Nina replied.

"Oh shit, this is the wrong freaking island." Jun yelled hysterically.

"What the-"Everyone else said in unison.

"Mom, you cursed." Jin said in utter surprise.

"Oh did I?" Jun asked innocently.

"You most certainly did babe." Kazuya answered.

'Whoops."

"So what do we do now?" Michelle asked.

"That's a good question." Wang agreed.

"Well, we have to find shelter." Jinpachi answered.

"Whoa. Where the hell did you come from?" Heihachi turned around sharply.

"You didn't think you could lock me up forever did you?" Jinpachi chuckled. "We are Mishima men, remember?"

"God, when I think you're gone for good, you still pop up."

"I feel the same way." Jin and Kazuya said in unison.

"You know what, fuck all of you." Heihachi bellowed.

"That's no way to talk to your father son." Jinpachi scolded.

"I can talk to you how ever I damn well please." Heihachi replied.

Jinpachi grabbed Heihachi by the collar, holding him very close to his face.

"You will be respectful or else." Jinpachi growled.

"You need a Tic Tac." Heihachi said, ring to shield his face from Jinpachi's rancid breath.

Jinpachi punched Heihachi in the gut then did that Mishima style kick on him.

"Thanks grandpa." Kazuya said like a ten year old.

"Anytime soon."

"Cut the sentimental crap." Bryan screamed. "We need to find some shelter quickly."

"Okay." Lei said frustrated. "To believe that we were partners."

"Aw that's sweet." Lee said. "What happened between you two?"

"It's a long-"Lei started. "Dammit Lee, I didn't mean like that. God you're a perverted fag."

"And the problem is?" Lee said wittily.

"You know what, shut up." Bryan yelled.

"Tough crowd." Lee threw his hands up in submission.

"All right troops, let's march." Dragunov said in sign language.

"We don't understand sign language." Everyone but Anna said in unison.

"I do." Anna replied.

"Fuck me doesn't count." Nina replied.

"You're such a bitch."

"Fine." Dragunov said.

"Hey you can talk."

"Big whoop. Now let's go."

The fighters went in to formation; a block that was unorganized at best.

"Hey you're stepping on my foot." Ganryu whined.

"Shut up and go." Julia said angrily.

"Your wish is my command my sweet." Ganryu said whimsically.

"Don't call me that." Julia yelled.

"You want to see all of my fat?" Ganryu asked excitedly.

"No you fat bastard."

"You want to clean my ass turds? Well if that's what turns you on."

"No, no, no." Julia started pulling on her braids.

"You're a dirty ho?" Ganryu cocked his head to the side. "I would have never suspected. Well that makes you sexier."

"Dammit Ganryu." Michelle joined in. "I'm going to chop you down like a cherry tree."

"Oh hey Michelle. It's nice that you want me to slam it in and pop your cherry."

"Oh you're disgusting." Michelle gagged. "I would never allow you to touch me."

Ganryu felt on Michelle's behind. In response, Michelle slashed into Ganryu's arm with her hatchet.

"Hey watch it, you got blood on me." Kunimitsu complained.

"Sorry Kunimitsu." Michelle apologized.

"I thought you said you wanted me to touch you."

"Hell no. If you ever come on to me again, I'll chop your nuts off. Do you understand me?"

"Good luck finding them." Ganryu replied. "I haven't seen them in years."

"I give up."

"You're going to give it up? Right here?" Ganryu eyes turned glassy.

Julia took out a six foot tall obelisk and whacked Ganryu over the head with it, knocking him out cold.

"Well that'll give us a few minutes of silence." Michelle patted Julia on the back.

The crew continued their journey into the tropical forest, trying to dodge potentially hazardous animals and other potentially dangerous island things. Hours passed, and they didn't find any sort of shelter. The now weary group decided to take their chances and camp out in a semi flat area near a water fall. Somehow all sixty or so of them managed to find a place to lie down in. Ganryu came about a half an hour later, distraught from his new found head trauma. Being that he was the last to arrive, he had nowhere to sleep so he decided to float on his back in the water by the water fall and sleep.

The next day came, bringing ample sunshine and borderline uncomfortably hot temperatures with it. Each fighter arose with sand in their hair in clothes.

"Good morning everyone." Jun addressed the group cheerily. "Being that we weren't planning to be stranded on a deserted island, I take it that no one packed food along with them, right?"

"Actually I did." Ganryu replied, twiddling his thumbs.

"Why am I not surprised." Paul said slyly.

"What do you have?" Anna asked.

"I brought Wal-Mart with me."

"What?" Everyone asked in shock.

"I brought Wal-Mart. Did I stutter?"

"Don't get smart." Nina said in a deadly calm tone. "It would be unfortunate if something were to happen to you."

"Let me get this straight. You brought the actual building with you?" Forest Law asked in disbelief.

"Uh huh." Ganryu nodded.

"And how did you manage to bring a whole building with you." Eddy asked.

"I put it under my titties of course." Ganryu said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not going to even ask how you did it."

"Okay." Jun said disgusted. "Bring out the Wal-Mart Ganryu."

Ganryu reached under his tits and little by little, pulled out an "upscale" Wal-Mart. He miraculously managed to miss the fighters when he slammed down the massive store. Almost as soon as the store hit the ground, everyone stormed in.

"This has to be the best Wal-Mart that I have ever seen." Bruce said, taking all of the Wal-Mart's glory in.

"It even has furniture." Asuka yelled from the furniture section.

Lee and Anna paroozed the furniture section, testing out beds.

"Hey look, there is a vibrating bed." Anna whispered in Lee's ear.

"You want to try it out?" Lee asked suggestively.

"I thought you would never ask." Anna said, throwing herself onto lee.

The couple jumped onto the vibrating bed and commenced to doing the wild thing.

"That's nasty." Nina turned her head away.

"Do you need some loving?" Paul asked suggestively.

Nina kicked Paul in his area.

"That's why you don't have a man." Paul said in a comically high pitched voice.

Nina took out a lead pipe and beat Paul senselessly.

"You've got anything else to say?" Nina asked with her trademark calm, but deadly tone. She rubbed her dagger with her left hand while suggestively toying with her pistol with her right hand.

"No, that's all." Paul shakily answered.

"That's what I thought." Nina kicked Paul in the stomach one more time then went on to the produce section.

Marshall and Forest Law happened to come up just as Nina left.

"Damn, what happened to you?" Marshall asked.

"You look worse than you did when you got your ass kicked by those aliens in Roswell." Forest chimed in.

"I, um, slipped on a puddle." Paul replied.

"No, someone just kicked your ass." Marshall insisted. "Hey, are those stiletto prints."

_Damn they've caught on._ Paul thought. "Um, I just had rough sex with Nina."

Almost instantly, Nina appeared and shot Paul in the foot with her pistol. Marshall and Forest's faces turned pale.

"Don't you ever say that again, you sick perverted bastard." Nina yelled then disappeared.

"She must have bionic hearing." Marshall said to his son.

"Yeah." He agreed.

"We'll see you later Paul." Marshall turned around and hustled away.

"Oh you're going to just leave me here? What type of best friend are you." Paul whined, holding his bloody foot. He tried to get up only to fall on his face.

"Nice one." Kunimitsu taunted as she passed him.

"Bitch!" Paul yelled in response.

Kunimitsu whirled around and pounced on top of him.

"What did you just call me?" She asked with a menacing tone.

"Um…er…"

Eddy happened to see Kunimitsu on top of Paul.

"Oh, now you're cheating on Yoshi with Paul? You are just low."

"Dammit Rasta boy." Kuni bellowed. Her voice echoed around the whole Wal-Mart like an air raid siren.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I am Brazilian?" Eddy clenched his fist.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't care?" Kunimitsu replied sarcastically.

"You know what? Fuck you Kunimitsu." Eddy fumed and walked away.

"As soon as I stab Paul your ass is grass." Kunimitsu shouted to Eddy.

Paul swallowed hard when Kuni said that she would stab him. He tried to inch himself from under her, but his handicapped foot made it extremely difficult for him to move.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kunimitsu asked in a dangerously calm tone.

Trying to buy time, Paul yelled "Hey look, an ancient enchanted sword isle."

"Nice try." Kuni laughed. "I already looked through that isle."

"Damn." Paul said softly.

Kunimitsu commenced to stabbing him in his other foot. Upon the blade's entrance into his foot, Paul screamed like a 10 year old school girl. You would have thought that he was getting burned while simultaneously being kicked in the balls. All he could do afterword was lie on the ground and cry.

"That's what you get." Kunimitsu huffed. "Learn to watch your mouth."

She left the scene with her dagger still dripping with Paul's blood and toe jam.

-MEANWHILE IN THE COOKIE ISLE-

Xiaoyu and Miharu browsed the shelves for some tasty treats to snack on while they gossiped about the male fighters. Xiaoyu attempted to grab a pack of Oreos but was swiftly stopped by an unknown hand. The hand was fat and stubby and smelled of pickles, chocolate, and pee. Don't ask why the stench of the hand was so strong, but it was. Startled, she quickly jumped back a few feet and instinctively looked at her hand. It had a thick brown film on it.

"Eww. What was that?" She asked, not to anyone particularly.

"What's wrong?" Miharu asked with concern painted all over her face.

"Some hand grabbed me while I was trying to get some Oreos."

"Who was it?"

"I don't know." Xiaoyu replied. Her expression suddenly darkened. "Maybe it was a ghost."

"A ghost?"

"A ghost." Xiaoyu said. "Why don't you try?"

"No." Miharu said flatly. "I don't want to be grabbed by some icky ghost."

"You have to try." Xiaoyu urged. "Just to make sure that I'm not crazy."

"Well ok." Miharu tensed up. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck."

Miharu reached for the Oreos extremely slowly. As if on cue, cinematic suspenseful music started to play on the stores radio.

"What the heck." Lee's voice could be heard in the distance. "How can I make love to this music?"

"Yeah, turn Barry White back on." Hwoarang and Anna said in unison also at a distance.

Xiaoyu looked around, trying to hear where the voices were coming from. Unfortunately, she didn't see anyone.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Xiaoyu asked impatiently. "This suspenseful music isn't going to go on forever."

"Alright, alright." Miharu looked back with resentment on her face. "The things I do for friends."

As soon as her hand met the Oreos, the same grungy from earlier hand grabbed her by the wrist. However this time, a voice accompanied it.

"Get your hands off of my Oreos, or else." The voice said firmly. The voice was male, and was a little higher than normal, but not very high.

Xiaoyu and Miharu nearly wet their neatly pleated miniskirts.

"Excuse me mister." Xiaoyu said, voice trembling. "How do you know that these are your Oreos?"

"Because I know all. Plus I put my name on it in blue ink." The voice said matter-of-factly.

"You know that the Oreo package is blue also right?" Miharu asked.

"Oh yeah." The voice replied with a hint of embarrassment. "That explains why I couldn't see the writing."

"Do you mind if I ask who you are?" Xiaoyu asked.

"I'll give you a hint."

"Ok."

"I am the greatest rikishi to walk the face of the earth."

"Hakuhō Shō?" Miharu asked.

"No silly girl." The voice replied. "I was also the youngest person to reach the rank of ozeki."

"Youngest to reach ozeki?" Xiaoyu tried to recall.

"What's wrong with you guys? Have you been living under a rock?" The now frustrated voice asked.

"No I've been living under Jin's bed on and off." Xiaoyu replied with a bright smile.

"Oh lord." The voice responded. "I was a body guard for Kazuya once."

"Are you one of the Jacks?" Xiaoyu exclaimed.

"No, dammit." The voice snapped. "I own a restaurant that I've been promoting in the tournament."

"Forrest Law?" Miharu asked.

"No you mean Marshall Law." Xiaoyu corrected.

"Neither. You guys are the dumbest girls on earth."

"No we're not." Xiaoyu replied. "There's plenty that are dumber than we are."

"Um Xiao, you are not helping our case." Miharu whispered in Xiaoyu's ear.

"Oh sorry." Xiaoyu said, suddenly realizing what she just said.

"So anyway, who are you strange voiced guy?" Miharu asked.

"One more hint."

"One more." Xiaoyu accepted.

"I really like food."

Xiaoyu and Miharu thought for a moment.

"Oh, hey Ganryu." Xiaoyu exclaimed.

"Finally." Ganryu climbed over the shelf that housed the Oreos.

The girls and Ganryu chatted about the Oreos and his accomplishments for a little while. They had to end their rousing discussion early, due to them being disrupted by an announcement over the loud speaker.

"Attention all, there will be a meeting in the employee lounge in an hour. Please be there on time. Thank you." Jun announced.

"Well that gives me 45 minutes to stalk Jin." Xiaoyu said. "Bye."

"That gives me 45 minutes to stalk Michelle." Ganryu said excitedly then ran off.

"I guess I'm the only normal one." Miharu said as she casually walked away.

**End of chapter. Yes I know I haven't updated in quite some time. Sorry about that. Now that it is summer I have lots of time to write so I should be updating more often now. **

***The fighters have just found some piece of comfort in their most unfortunate situation. Now that a meeting's been called, what will happen next? More importantly will they ever leave the island? Stay tuned.***


	4. Chapter 4: Planning for Dummies

**CHAPTER 4**

**Planning for Dummies**

The fighters were dispersed all over the large Wal-Mart. Some were eating, some sleeping, and some doing the weirdest things. Everyone was enjoying themselves for the most part, except for Jun. She sat at the head of an extremely long table with her head cradled in her hands. Her usually bright and cheery spirit was dimmed by the stress of being stranded on an island. Kazuya stood a little ways away from her at the white board. Like a 6 year old, he doodled rocket ships and poorly drawn animals on the white board.

"Kazuya!" Jun shouted. "How can you be doodling at a time like this?"

"Well we got nothing else to do."

"We could be trying to find a way out of here." Jun replied.

"Sure, or I could be doodling these awesome funky fresh masterpieces."

Jun gave Kazuya a straight face.

"What? You know these are good." Kazuya said with a childish smile.

"Panda could draw better than you blindfolded with her feet." Jun replied sarcastically.

"You can't even draw." Kazuya stuck his tongue out.

"I know I can't. That's why I refrain from doing so."

"Well that's how I express myself."

"Well that's better than how you used to express yourself before." Jun replied.

"Yeah. I could be frying people with my laser like I used to."

"You just stopped doing that last Tuesday."

"So. Now I cook with my laser."

"You made some delicious omelets the other day."

"Thanks." Kazuya kissed his fingers like a stereotypical chef.

"What time is it?" Jun asked.

"A quarter to five." Kazuya answered.

"I guess we should start getting everything together."

"Do we have to?" Kazuya whined. "I don't want to deal with those tards right now."

"If you ever want to leave then we have to."

"Alright, but if anyone of them pisses me off, I just might relapse and fry one of them."

"Whatever." Jun shook her head. "Call them in on the loudspeaker please."

"Ok." Kazuya walked to the loudspeaker. "All of you get your sorry asses to the employee meeting room stat."

"Why did I marry him." Jun said to herself.

"Because of my donkey booty." Kazuya said, shaking his money maker.

"How did you hear what I said?""

"Sometimes you talk louder than you think."

"Oh, I have to work on that."

Wang was the first to hobble into the room. He glanced and saw Kazuya shaking his behind.

"Oh that's hot!" Wang shouted, glassy eyed and red

"Are you gay Wang?" Jun asked with a surprised look.

"No."

"Do you know who that is?"

"Yeah, that's Kunimitsu isn't it?"

"Gosh, I don't know what's more disturbing: you thinking that was Kunimitsu or the fact that you said that Kazuya was hot."

"That's Kazuya! Oh jeez, let me put my glasses on." Wang panicked.

Kunimitsu happened to be behind Jun when she said her comment about being disturbed by Wang's attraction to Kunimitsu.

"Hey toots, what do you mean that Wang thinking that I'm sexy, which I totally am, is disturbing?" Kunimitsu said obviously offended. "I'm the sexiest woman here."

"Sure you are Kuni." Jun said sarcastically. "We can't even see your face."

"That's because my face is too beautiful for your eyes." Kunimitsu said, her voice sounding as if she had a big smile. "My face turns gay men straight and straight women into lesbians."

"Oh don't get too sure of yourself." Anna said as she walked in.

"Shut up ho!" Kuni snapped. "Why do you think that Leo is a lesbo?"

"Because she was born that way." Kazuya said simply.

"No, I let her see my face. After she saw it she wanted to screw me, but I wouldn't let her because I don't get down like that."

"Didn't you used to be a man?" Anna asked.

"No bitch. I'm tired of people asking me that."

"Well you had a distinctly male voice and well defined pecks." Lee added.

"Of course you would look at that." Kazuya teased.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Anyway." Kunimitsu continued. "I taped my breasts down and put on a suit that looked like a fit male's."

"So why did you have a man's voice?" Jun asked.

"I used Yoshimitsu's voice changer."

"I see." Wang said. "I thought you were hot then."

"Are you sure you're not gay?" Jun asked.

"I'm not." Wang assured.

"Then how did you know that I was a woman?" Kunimitsu asked.

"Because I spied on you in the locker room while you were taking a shower."

"You pervert." Kunimitsu gasped. She immediately slapped Wang in the back of his head.

"Might I add that you have a nice set of breasts?"

"Shut up." Kunimitsu covered her ears in disgust.

"Did you look at me?" Anna asked.

"I don't look at hos." Wang said.

"That's why no one wants your old ass." Anna huffed.

"I get all the women from the bingo hall and the high school back home."

"You should be in jail." Kazuya declared.

"Not hardly." Wang stated. "I only date high school seniors."

"But you're over a hundred years old." Nina added.

"Hey, a big dick's a big dick no matter how old it is." Wang winked at Nina. In turn Nina threw up in Anna's lap.

"Come on now." Anna exclaimed.

"You're used to vomit in your lap you drunk broad."

"Yeah but it's my vomit." Anna growled.

"Well just take your dress off and wear your slip. Oh yeah I forgot, you don't wear slips."

"Excuse me while I clean myself up and change." Anna left.

"It looks like everyone else is here." Jun said as she glanced around the room. "Once Anna gets back we will start the meeting." Jun announced.

"We can start without her." Nina responded. "It's not like she will contribute anyway."

"We have to wait until everyone is here." Jun insisted.

"All I have to say is that if she isn't here in five minutes, I'm going to drag her in here by the neck." Nina said with a sinister look on her face.

Everyone winched at Nina's expression. While the group waited, Hwoarang got bored and walked over to Jin who was watching porn on his iPhone.

"What's up Kaza-" The sight of the porn distracted him. "Dude you are addicted. You watch this stuff all of the time, at any time and any place."

Jin elbowed Hwoarang in the gut.

"Shut up." He whisper yelled.

"What is he watching Hwoarang?" Jun asked with a concerned look.

"Special movies." Hwoarang said with a wink.

"Oh." Jun said relieved. "I always taught him to be accepting of all people regardless of their mental and physical states."

Everyone in the room looked at Jun with that "are you serious" look.

"What?" Jun asked, clearly clueless about what was said.

"He's watching porn sweetheart." Kazuya said flatly.

"He can't be. Not now." Jun covered her ears in disbelief.

"I'm not mom." Jin looked like a child who did something that they weren't supposed to have been doing.

"You're lying to me Jin. I know when you are lying to me." Jun looked highly frazzled.

"I'm sorry mom."

"I thought we talked about this before."

"We did , but-" Kazuya interrupted him.

"He's a young man who has an insatiable appetite for sex, just like his old man. He needs porn to get that stimulation so that he doesn't become a sexually frustrated ass hole like Heihachi." Kazuya explained.

"Even so, he can find a hobby." Jun suggested.

"That won't help." Kazuya replied. "Heihachi tried that and look at him now. He found a hobby that feeds into his sexual frustration."

"I'm not sexually frustrated." Heihachi snapped.

"Then why are you such a dick?" Jin asked.

"Because I have to deal with you sorry mofos." Heihachi spat.

"How do you explain your locking Jinpachi under Hon Maru?" Lee asked. "Kazuya was a little kid then."

"You know what shut up." Heihachi yelled. "I'm not sexually frustrated, I get some everyday."

"From who? You don't have any women." Kazuya asked patronizingly.

"From hot chicks."

"The closest thing to hot chicks that you have are the hot wings from Friday's."

"Shut up." Heihachi yelled. "I conceived Lars didn't I?"

"Yeah, but that was over twenty years ago. And then you probably raped his mom or something."

"It's still sex." Heihachi replied.

"Rape doesn't count." Kazuya responded, sticking his tongue out a sign of his victory.

"Fuck all of you." Lightning sparked from Heihachi's arms.

Everyone laughed at Heihachi's anger.

"Hey, where's Anna?" asked Jun.

"I'll go check." Lee volunteered.

"Hell no." Bryan stopped Lee dead in his tracks. "If you go you will probably screw her then we will have to wait for an additional hour."

"You guys know me so well." Lee smiled.

"I'll go get the tramp." Nina grumbled.

"Thanks, we love you." Jun called out as Nina walked away.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Nina's voice trailed as she walked further from the room.

Nina trudged on to the women's rest room, cursing and ranting about Anna being so selfish and inconsiderate; she always hated Anna for that. It took about five or so minutes to get to the bathroom. Upon arrival, she saw Anna sitting on a sink washing "special parts". Nina gagged at the sight.

"Oh crap, Nina!" Anna said startled.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nina asked in disgust.

"Cleaning myself."

"I know your vaj is dirty and all, but can't that wait?"

"Shut up." Anna said with a huff. "This has nothing to do with my numerous sexual encounters that you wish you could have."

"Dream on." Nina said sarcastically. "I can get some from anyone at any time. I just have class."

"Yeah, class enough to sit at home with your legs wide open, chugging down beers with Steve while you two watch football." Anna rolled her eyes.

"That's our mother son time. I'm surprised that you haven't experienced that yet."

"Ha ha. Are you lesbian?"

"What? No."

"So why don't you have a man?"

"Before I answer that, can you tell me why you're washing yourself down there in the sink."

"Well I needed to clean myself up thoroughly." Anna replied.

"Down there?"

"It's my time of the month, and I forgot to bring pads."

"Oh, why didn't you say so? I have some."

"Oh thanks."

"Don't get used to it."

"Love you too. Now about why you are an old maid."

Nina started to blush. "Well I didn't want a man before, but now I'm kind of crushing on a certain grey haired hunk of man."

"Ohh…" Anna cooed. 'Who is he? Please don't say it's Heihachi or Wang."

"No dumbass. He's young, mostly human." Nina said, her face getting redder and redder by the minute. She started playing with her dagger.

"Bryan?" Anna asked, almost falling off of the sink.

"Maybe." Nina giggled; something completely out of her character. She still ran the dagger between her fingers.

"For how long?"

"Some time. Hey we can talk about this later, they're waiting for us in the conference room."

"Oh yeah. Let me slip on this lingerie I found."

"What am I going to do with you?" Nina shook her head.

After Anna got dressed the pair walked back to the conference room. They were greeted with angry stares from the rest of the group (all directed to Anna explicitly).

"Oh shut up." Anna said, and then took a seat next to Lee.

"Okay, now that we have everyone here, we need to figure out a plan to get back home." Jun said.

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Heihachi asked in sarcastic tone.

Well that's what we are meeting for." Jun replied with equal sarcasm. "So group, what are some suggestions for solving this problem?"

"Well before we do anything, we should assess all of our resources." Dragunov stated.

"Has anyone told you, you have a nice voice?" Michelle asked.

"Um, no. Thanks." Dragunov said, a bit a red covering his pale skin.

"Hey don't try to get sweet on my girl." Ganryu quickly rose to his feet.

"I'm not your girl." Michelle yelled. "Get that through your thick skull."

"Yes you are." Ganryu's expression darkened.

Everyone in the room shared uncomfortable gazes with each other.

"He's crazy." Zafina whispered to Lili.

"If I can't have you, nobody can." Ganryu's tone was eerily calm.

"Ganryu listen" Michelle softened her tone. "I don't like you, and I never will. But there are other women out there, some even prettier than me."

"Definitely." Anna scoffed.

"Shut up skank." Michelle snapped. "Now Ganryu, I know you will eventually find true love. You just need to get over your infatuation with me. You will find someone, I know it."

"But Michelle, my sweet-"His voice was cut off by Michelle's soft finger on his lips.

"If you really love me, you will let go. You will go on to find the woman that you deserve."

"I just can't Michelle." Salty tears ran down Ganryu's face, into his mouth. "Hmm… tasty" He said in between wails and sniffles.

"It's ok Ganryu." Michelle patted Ganryu's back. "We can be friends, but only if you let go."

"Oh Michelle." Ganryu sobbed.

Most of the room's uncomfortable stares transitioned into teary gazes. Nina began to cry, using her dagger to wipe away her tears.

"Hush now." Michelle comforted. "No more tears."

"It's so hard."

"I know, but if you want to feel good about yourself you have to."

"I'll try." Ganryu turned his head away from Michelle. "But you will always be my one true love."

"I understand. You will get over me in time." Michelle also shed a tear at this point.

Ganryu returned to his seat, head hung in despair over his being turned down. Someone, in good nature, tried to offer him a cake as consolation. Ganryu declined the cake with a simple shake of the head. The group, still wiping their eyes, looked in shock at the grieving man.

"He's torn up." Paul remarked to Marshall Law.

"Given the nature of what has just happened, we'll call this meeting to a recess." Jun announced, neatly folding a used Kleenex.

**End of chapter 4. I'm just terrible with updating. Well anyway, here it is.**

***A planned day of strategizing has turned into a day of heavy heartedness. Will Ganryu move on now that Michelle has affirmed that they will never be? And more importantly, will the fighters ever get around to formulating a plan to leave this island? Stay tuned.***


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